The first steps to becoming a dancer

If you’re thinking about to quit your boring office job and to make money with dancing around the world, here are some useful advice:

 

  1. Have you ever been inside of a strip club? If not, maybe go check it out first. Choose the club or the agency that you want to work with very carefully. Collect as much information as you can before you start. If the club is close to your area, go there with friends before you would apply and look around. Is this the environment you really want to work? You’re free to talk to the girls about their work, how they like the club, etc., but don’t tell them you also want to work there. From that moment you would be a rival girl for some, and they might lie to you or don’t give you the correct answer. The best thing to start is throwing yourself in the deep end and start dancing. It takes a while to get regulars and find your feet in the stripping business, but you’ll make good money as customers always like the new girls because you are fresh and innocent, you don’t know the rules of the game yet. (Or at least this is what they think.)

 

  1. About agencies, always ask recommendations from other girls if they would work with them or not. If you’re planning to go abroad, always ask for the address and the contact number of the manager or the guy who picks you up at the airport or train station. Make sure someone is waiting for you. It’s not much fun waiting on the street in the pouring rain for someone to open the door of the apartment.

 

  1. If you are an enthusiast, you can go to a pole dance class before you start the job. It’s great fun after all, and you can hear useful information on the job. Taking some pole dance lessons is giving you confidence when you are the first time on stage. Or it’s possible almost in every club to ask the other girls to show you some moves before opening or when there are no customers. Never try to copy the other girls and try a complicated trick on the pole! It can be dangerous, especially if you have had a few drinks before. Dangerous and more ridiculous than sexy. Just feel free and enjoy the music like you would dance in a club with your friends and don’t forget to smile. Nothing more boring on stage like a beautiful woman doing amazing tricks on the pole with perfect body control without a single smile. And don’t look yourself in the mirror! Do it when you practice, it’s a big help to correct your moves, but forget about it when you perform. Keep eye contact with your potential customers instead. Confidence is sexy, so you just need to believe yourself.

 

  1. When you apply to a club, never send false information about yourself! Don’t lie about your age, weight or send old or ridiculously retouched pictures of yourself. You take a risk to be fired upon arrival to the club.

 

  1. Don’t fall into the trap of needing a few drinks to be able to work. Don’t touch drugs; they only make things worse. If you can’t work sober, it’s not a good thing. Try to get through your first week without alcohol, and if you could do it, it will be easier to stay sober at work later.

 

  1. Don’t be so impressed by the money after your first night. I mean if you had a good night to start. Congratulations! But don’t run the next day to the shopping centre and spend it all. If you need to invest in some clothes or shoes, do it later. You never know how it is going to be the next night or next week. The money can be good but not consistent. This job is full of ups and downs, so make sure you don’t run out of money. Have your goals set for the future and make sure you save some of your earnings.

 

  1. Don’t tell all your friends and relatives that you intend to make money by dancing naked. People that never have been involved in this kind of work wouldn’t understand it, and you don’t even know yourself if you will like it or not. It’s only a trial for you, better to keep it secret. You don’t know how your friends would react, and you don’t need some hateful comments. When you tell your friends, be ready, you might lose some of them that can’t accept your new lifestyle.

 

  1. Don’t invest in expensive dancer clothes and shoes. You always can buy them later and check the price before you purchase anything online because on another website you might find the same item at half price. Some shops where you can get dancer clothes are relatively expensive too. I would recommend buying sexy lingerie, corsets and stocking for the first time, rather than new mini neon colour dancer dress. If you decide this job is not for you, you always can use the sexy lingerie sets in your private life.

 

  1. Develop a dancer persona, act and have fun. It’s like a big theatre. Give yourself an alter-ego, be whatever you want to be and create a character. When you walk into the club, forget the regular ‘you’ and become whatever your dancer persona is. Be witty, flirty, chatty, smart, kind, optimistic and smiley. Your mood is the key; being positive and bubbly attracts people. Just think of your shift as a night out, don’t try to sell hard, just dance, flirt and feel good. Talk to the customer as if they’re your friends, act like you’re out partying rather than working, and try to make them feel special. The money will come automatically.

 

  1. It’s one of the best jobs ever, but it takes learning and practice. You don’t need a formal education to start, but you still need skills and wits to be able to keep your regulars. Improve your communication skills; you even can invest money in a short online course. Be eager to learn, you will not regret it in the future. (Also this is the best way to learn foreign languages.)

 

On your first night, follow the rules what the manager tells you and let the girls help you. Not every dancer has an evil spirit, most of the girls are very helpful because they know and understand what you’re going through. We all had our first night, and it was the same than yours. We also had lots of questions, lots of self-doubts, lots of compromises. Once you survive your first night, the rest comes easy.

So take a deep breath and jump into this exciting life!

The spotlights are waiting for you!

 

Good luck!

 

B. Lindsay Belan

www.heartbrokenstilettos.com

heartbrokenstilettos@gmail.com

/by

What travelling the world has taught me

Someone told me that we, strippers, are the gipsies of the modern world. And I must say I agree with that person. If you hear the word “gipsy” what other words come to your mind straight away? Let me help: Entertaining. Music. Dance. Travel. Bags. Free. Wild. Nomad. No agreement, no commitments. No rules. These words apply to strippers, too.

I love to travel. Not just to arrive at a new place, but to be on the road, to be lost in space somewhere between points A and B. Sometimes I even leave my clothes in the suitcase, I don’t see the point to put them in a wardrobe and literally get dressed straight from my bag. I use to say that I don’t have a home, but I’m home everywhere I go. And it’s true. After the second week, I got used to the new place, the new environment and start to feel I could stay even longer. But I never stay. There is always a new place waiting for me to discover. And once you got the taste of this lifestyle, this kind of freedom, it’s hard to give it up. So yes, I feel like a gipsy travelling from town to town, from country to country entertaining with my dance. Never stay long for one place, never settled down. And I make my own rules.

I was thinking a lot about what are the advantages of travelling as a dancer. What did I win during the trips?

 

  1. Adventure

My big dream was to travel to Japan and have been there already twice. I made my dreams come true as I travelled the world and collected lots of joyful moments. I did cage diving with the Great White sharks and went on a safari in South Africa, I visited the Niagara Falls in Canada, swam in the Blue Lagoon in Iceland, I celebrated the Chinese Moon Cake Festival in Macau. Every place I visited, I tasted delicious local food. I was sunbathing under palm trees on beautiful beaches of the Caribbean, sailing on the Mediterranean sea, tasting delicious wine at the cellars in Stellenboch in South Africa. I tried bungy jumping above the Corinth Channel in Greece and walked under the blooming cherry trees in Yokohama. If I hadn’t started dancing, I would have missed out most of these memories. I live my life as I always wanted. In addition to getting to beautiful places, the adventures I have experienced have made me stronger, more resilient, more skilled, and added other benefits to my world.

 

  1. Organisation Skills

One of my friends remarked in the days how perfectly I can pack my suitcase. There is no unused square centimetre in it, everything fits perfectly. And this is so true; during the trips, I learned how to be well-organised. During the years when I travelled a lot, I learned how to live in a suitcase and take advantage of minimal space. If something needs to fit in, it will. Even I have to leave other things behind. By that, I’ve learned the priority of things, the meaning of choice. It’s a very good spiritual practise indeed. How to get rid of items I don’t need any more – sometimes even people, – lighten up the luggage and the heart, not carry oversized or overweight packages.

 

  1. Flexibility

When I travel, I usually don’t pack anything I can buy in the stores, I’m not going to carry a half-empty bottle of shower gel when I can buy it anywhere. Not even clothes. I take fewer designer clothes with me, I pack only those that I don’t mind to get rid of if it’s necessary to make more place for souvenirs in the bag. I don’t stick to any personal stuff either. When I leave, I leave all those things behind that I don’t need anymore. This taught me flexibility. Indeed, everyone can give an example of a person who always buys the same brand of toothpaste. Well, it’s not me. I’m not a prisoner of my habits. I can use any shampoo as long as it’s suitable for my hair type, contains fewer chemicals and not tested on animals. I can eat any kind of food. And I can sleep anywhere. At the airport waiting for a flight connection, on a bus during a long drive, or on a not so comfortable small bed in a crowded backpackers. I don’t need a king size bed and tightly closed curtains to fall asleep. I’m not saying I don’t like comfort and luxury. I do love it! But I wasn’t born with the silver spoon in my mouth, and they say “Smooth seas don’t make excellent sailors”.

 

  1. Strength and Confidence

Not physical strength – although I have lifted up my suitcase quite often – but mental strength. How to stand up for myself. If I want to achieve something in life, I’m not expecting it from others, I’m not afraid to take the first step. Because I’m responsible for myself. I got into some unpleasant situations and learned how to get out of them by staying calm; I learned to use my head, solve the problem as soon as possible then go on. I learned that it is not wrong to be alone because I can always count on myself and determined not to give up easily. I learned that all those difficult times are only challenges, and the show must go on. And it always does.

 

  1. Communication Skills

I learned patience and empathy and communication skills. It was the way I learned English. I was always too shy at the school to speak up, even though I knew the grammar perfectly. You have no choice during the trip: when you want a glass of water, you ask for it or stay thirsty. No one is a mind reader out there to find out what you need. I learned how to communicate with different people from different cultures.

 

  1. Friendships and People Skills

During the trips, I met countless people, kind or less kind to my heart. But when I finish my contract, and I have to leave the place, I take only good memories with me. The bad ones I try to leave behind. I don’t want to carry the anger with me back home or to the next place. It took me a while to learn to let it go but makes my life much more comfortable. I was lucky (and thankful) enough that somebody came into my life in the very best moment to wipe off my tears and offer some help. I learned to be grateful for these people. I learned to trust and give credit sometimes to a total stranger. I learned to face problems and that in the end, somehow everything will be alright.

 

There are enough people around me who just complain about their everyday lives, and even if the solution is in their hands, they don’t do anything to change it. Of course, it’s easier to wait for some sort of miracle. They live in fear because they can lose their work and financial security, but they still want a bigger house, a faster car and another mobile phone. For me, the squirrel wheel came to an end when I left my regular job and started to travel the world as a dancer. With all my heart, I believe that wherever I go, every place can show me something new, teach something new, even if I don’t understand its lesson at the given moment. When I look back and open up the photo album in the armchair, afterwards, I will appreciate it, and maybe then I will find the answers to my questions. And I never forgot to be thankful for the moments I could experience. So this is it. This is my spiritual practice during travelling that gives me beautiful experiences and on the way it helps me to find the better version of myself.

 

Are you ready to explore the world?

Tell us about your favourite destination!

 

B. Lindsay Belan

www.heartbrokenstilettos.com

heartbrokenstilettos@gmail.com

/by

4 magic words that can help you to save money

For many years I lived with the spiritual belief that money is energy, and it must flow, that not spending it can slowing down or even stopping the money circulation. I came up with a positive belief, and I spent easily thinking about ‘making space for a much enormous amount’. I was a carefree spender and didn’t think much about savings, especially when my income was high. My relationship with money was like ‘come and go’. I didn’t understand that to create financial abundance I have to save money, spending as a rich will never make me rich.

Sex work is incredibly lucrative, we make money easy in a fast way. Something is exciting about being given fresh, crispy banknotes to take home at the end of our shift. But we never know how it is going to be the next night or next week, money is so fast and easy that sometimes we forget that we might struggle too sometimes. I have walked out of a club with a pile of cash, and another night I made zero. In our job, money can be good but not consistent. This job is full of ups and downs, and we need to make sure we don’t run out of money. We have to have our goals set for the future and make sure we save some of our earnings. When we are new to the industry, we’re often so impressed by the money after our first night and run the next day to the shopping centre to spend it all. I did it many times. When work is good, it gives us the false idea that we’ll always have money at hand. I’ve seen so many girls spend money under the assumption that they would always earn at the same rate, then freak out when rent is due, or the business starts to slow down. I wish someone would’ve drilled this into my head when I was first starting dancing. It is a tough industry for women who are no longer so young without savings, living week to week. Many of middle-aged stripper – including myself – wish if she could go back to when she was young, when the earning potentials were on top and when they should have saved their money. Indeed we are not taught how to save or to invest our money. The best piece of advice you can give to baby strippers is the importance of saving money. It’s worth as a piece of gold.

If you’re making enough to live comfortably, you should set aside some for emergencies (experts say you need saving to cover up three months of living) whenever possible. That way, if you want to take a break, you get fired, the business turns around, in case of an emergency, like your car breaks down or you are injured and can’t work, you’ll have money. But if you’re barely keeping your head above water, you feel as if no money to save because it got sucked away by survival needs and you feel broke, try to stay graceful. Your hard work will bless you. You always can start with a small amount like putting aside all of your coins. You work hard for your money, make sure your money is working hard for you. Focus on creating a stable mindset, use mental strength not to fall into the trap of a false sense of security around your future income, and use the money to create better energy around you.

I didn’t buy a house or invest in a business. (I paid for travels and invested a lot in short courses and studies and personal growth though.) I never lived on a budget or put money on the side. Now I tell you how you can make better than I did. It’s time for realising the importance of when to save and when to invest.

  1. Budget. First, you need to calculate how much money do you need to pay for rent, utilities, credit card payments, loans, bills, and so on. Figure this out first. Everything else after this amount is disposable income. Set up a book-keeping system, start by tracking your spending. Write down in a notebook in categories what you spend every day, or if you prefer you can use financial software. Organise the receipts into categories like rent, bills, groceries, and personal care so you will be able to see where your money is going and have an idea of what a reasonable budget is for yourself. Not tracking how much money is coming in and going out will leave you clueless. You’ll have no way to know what you’re average income and how much you’re spending. Having a budget for outfits, nails, lashes etc. will help you from overspending; honestly, these eat up a lot of money. Don’t be afraid to spend, just spend within your budget. Spend less than you earn, and you’ll be fine.

Take the money you save from budgeting and put it in a separate savings account. Don’t bring any credit or debit cards when you go out, that way you can only use the cash you’ve budgeted and when it’s gone, it’s gone. Do not borrow from the account without the intention of paying it back. Even better if you forget that particular account exists.

  1. Piggybank. It doesn’t need to be that piggy shaped ceramic; it can be anything, a beer bottle, cookie jar or a lockbox. You can make other saving rules like save all of your €2 coins, just don’t be encouraged to dispose of all of your incomes. It’s not a lot of coins, but it can be your “save for luxury” fund. If you do that throughout the year, you can save €3-400, which is the price of a new phone. (Well, if your dream phone is the latest iPhone, you need to save a little bit more though.) And with that, you’d gotten into the habit of putting something aside and not touching it. Saving every €100 bill will help you save more money. €100 each week is not so much, but 52×100=€5200 for a year. Keep it in a private spot in your house and only spend it or deposit it to your bank when you saved enough to buy whatever you were saving for.

If you have trouble with overspending, try the envelope system. Put away all of your €50s and €100s after each shift. Don’t touch them. Pretend they are not real money. Create a different envelope for different goals like Tax envelope, Car envelope, Holiday envelope and put a percentage of your wages in them. Get a penalty if you move the money before a certain time.

Open a saving account or get a safety deposit box at your bank and make sure the bank is far away. It’s a good idea to have three bank accounts: a personal, a saving and a business one. You can use your personal account to filter all of your money through before it goes into your other accounts. Keeping your money separate can demonstrate that you are organised in your business book-keeping. Put money for bills and needs to your bank account and then only hold a certain amount in your wallet for each week for luxury spending.

  1. Investment. Most of us prefer to keep the cash hidden at home, rather than investing it. Don’t spend your savings, keep your money invested, and your wealth continues to grow. Save to invest in things that will bring you joy now and in the future. You can make low-risk investments, like a savings account with interest, savings bonds, or certificates of deposit or higher risk investments, like stocks. But consider seeing a financial planner for this service. In general, try to be smart with your money.

Having a long-term retirement plan is an excellent idea. Start saving for your retirement as early as possible, the time is on your side when you’re young because the youngest workers are in the best position to save for retirement. Open an IRA account. Put a certain amount every week. You can’t take the money out until you are older and the money gains interest, so it increases with time.

  1. Goals. Experts say people save more successfully when they keep short-term goals in sight so make a goal such as setting aside a little amount each week, rather than a longer-term savings goal. Once you have met your saving of three months’ expenses, start a savings plan for other things. It can be for school, for a car or a house, or something else, think about your investments. Have goals that need money like a trip or starting a business, so your money isn’t lying around tempting you to spend it. What are your long term goals? Are you doing sex work to pay for something, pay off something? There’s a difference between saving money and saving money for your future. So don’t just spend less, but put the money you saved into a savings account to plan for college expenses, retirement, or business investment that can leave you financially better off.

Budget the amount that you have to save each week to meet your goals and don’t touch your savings. I recommend you rather pick up another shift or work more for anything else you want to spend on.

I confess that one of my biggest regrets in life is not saving at least a portion of my stripper money to invest it later. Save your money and get it together. Your future self will thank you for that.

If you have any good saving idea, share with us in a comment!

  1. Lindsay Belan

heartbrokenstilettos@gmail.com

www.heartbrokenstilettos.com

/by